Where does the time go?

Saturday, May 3, 2008

Can you cry under water?

The Dole Nutrition Institute just came out with the results of an expensive study. They claim, as fact, that 94% of the rats tested prefer sugar over coccaine... http://www.dolenutrition.com/currentissue.aspx?nlid=1126
I don't know how this proves much of anything, but........ "Maybe," I say, "rats just have their heads on straight. Maybe, they know the emotionally-healing-value of having a Snicker Bar for lunch just once, instead of choosing a salad. Maybe, they understand, the fine art of Eating Dessert First!"
Can you cry under water? I don't know, but I have shed many a tear in the shower, & it wasn't because I got soap in my eye.
I was just so busy being a wife, mom, school teacher, etc., etc. that there was no time penciled-in for crying, so I learned the skill of speed-crying.
First, you have to let everything that's gone wrong since the last time you cried pile up in no particular order. Next, when the water hits your face, cry like there's no tomorrow.... if anyone hears you, it will sound like singing. When the shower is over, dry off & step out as if nothing has happened.
Speed-crying is therapeutic... it gives no time for prioritizing... no time to list from the worst to least.... no pity-party in other words. You just cry & go!
Figuring out all of the particulars can be dangerous.... you might actually find something to be depressed about.... non-prioritizing, speed-crying is definitely the way to go.
Prioritizing, in general, ages a person. Babies focus on eating & comfort... Teenagers focus on image & entertainment... Adults focus on paychecks & responsibilities... Retirees tend to focus on health & summing up an era... in other words, every stage of life has its own priorities that define us. Knowing this gives power over aging... "I am is now dictated by how I set my priorities each day."
Hey! This explains mid-life crisis! One day, someone wakes up & is unhappy with their priorities....
You want to be 16 again..... rethink your day! Make fun in the sun the priority.... not whether your bed is made or not.... lol! Take a day off from being a grown-up.
I have sugestions for the committee choosing the next 3 RAT TESTS:
For starters, see how many rats prefer pushing a little beachball around as opposed to running on a tiny mouse treadmill ... second, hold their faces under water & step on their toes to see if they actually can cry under water... third, after telling them that their cheese supply is low, their mouse hole has been plastered over, a new cat is in the house, & their youngest is missing, observe them to see what percentage cry now or wait for the shower....
there's a good chance that the speed-cryers are still smiling & have
Snicker Bars on their breath!

3 comments:

Char said...

OMG YOU ARE BACK!!!!!I hope you are keeping your posts saved somewhere..what a great book this would make!!!!
Way to go Jana......
hugs, Char

SGF said...

You are really building me up....thank you for that....Jana

jtstone said...

Thank you, I needed that today. I had to leave my little ShihTzu at the vet because she was sick. Did the SpeedCrying thing on the way home, nobody was there to hear me. Glad to know somebody out there understands. I had kids in school, so I understand how you feel or felt. Whew! We're going to be just fine. Jeannine

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